I used to be more confident. what happened?
You might not be able to pinpoint exactly when it changed.
But you can feel it.
A sense that you used to be more confident.
More certain.
More like yourself.
And now, something feels different.
Confidence doesn’t disappear overnight
Confidence rarely vanishes suddenly.
It tends to shift gradually.
You take on more responsibility.
Life becomes more complex.
Expectations increase.
And over time, your attention moves outward.
You focus on:
what needs to be done
what others need from you
what you should be doing
And slowly, your connection to yourself can become quieter.
The impact of life transitions
Confidence is closely linked to how we see ourselves.
So when your life changes, your sense of self often shifts too.
This can happen through:
becoming a parent
changes in your body
career transitions
relationship changes
hormonal shifts
You’re no longer who you used to be.
But you may not yet feel connected to who you are now.
The role of self-criticism
As confidence dips, self-criticism often increases.
You might notice thoughts like:
I should be doing better
I’m not as capable as I used to be
Other people seem more confident than me
These thoughts can reinforce the feeling that something is wrong.
But often, confidence hasn’t disappeared.
It’s just become harder to access.
Reconnecting with confidence
Rather than trying to “get back” to who you were, it can be more helpful to ask:
Who am I now?
Confidence grows from:
understanding yourself
trusting your responses
feeling aligned with your life
And that often requires space to reflect, rather than pressure to perform.
Therapy as a place to rebuild from the inside
In therapy, confidence isn’t something we try to force.
Instead, we focus on:
understanding what’s changed
softening self-criticism
reconnecting with your values
building a steadier sense of self
As that connection strengthens, confidence often follows.
Not as something you have to prove — but as something that feels more natural again.
If this resonates
If you feel like you’ve lost confidence or don’t quite recognise yourself anymore, you’re not alone.
It may simply mean that you’re in a period of change.
Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and explore what this next version of you might look like. Book in for a chat with me, and lets help you reclaim your confidence again.